At some point in time, our children will start telling lies. Usually it stems from fear. Although lying is always discouraged, it is important to understand the reasons a lie was told.                                       



To Attract Attention

When your child is young and the lies are inconsequential, this behavior may just be his way of getting your attention. When a child says, “Mummy, I just saw superman fly by the window,” I think it is very different from a child who says, “I finished all my school assignments,” when he really didn’t but saying so to seek positive reinforcement from you.

To Avoid Punishment

Most kids lie at one time or another because they want to avoid punishment. Let’s say they’ve gotten themselves into a jam because they did something they shouldn’t have done. Maybe they broke a rule or they didn’t do something that they were supposed to do. If they cannot find a solution to it, rather than suffer the consequences, they lie to avoid getting into trouble.

To Fit In

Sometimes children lie to fit in with their peers. If a child feels insecure and rejected, they sometimes create a false persona, completely different from their real self in hopes that their peers might like them more and so they will fit in better. It is also a social experiment in the early stages as children attempt to figure out how their surrounding social circles work.



When you catch your child lying, it is natural to feel hurt, angry and frustrated. But here’s the truth: lying is normal. It’s wrong, but it’s normal. In fact, we all do it to some degree. Consider how adults use lies in their daily lives often in the hope of getting out of a difficult situation.

I believe that with children, lying is a temporary solution they often use when stuck in a tricky situation. It is our job as parents to find out the reasons behind the lies and to teach our children ways to solve these problems in a more constructive way.